Today’s reading from the Gospel of Matthew talks to us about faith and fear in the midst of uncertainty, disruption, and chaos. It is certainly a timely word for us these days. Like the disciples, we too find ourselves tossed to and fro, not by wind and waves, but by disease and isolation and impossible choices. By discord and violence and tragedy. By addiction and cancer and brokenness. By racism and abuse and injustice. What are we to do? Where is God in the midst of this?
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| "Stormy Seas" by Rebekah Krevens |
It is early in the morning, and the disciples have been up all night in a boat on the lake. Less than 24 hours earlier, the crowds had been miraculously fed. But now, buffeted by the wind and waves, the disciples were perhaps regretting the miraculous abundance that had them eating their fill of loaves and fish.
Bleary-eyed and exhausted, when they see a figure walking on the sea their first thought is not “Oh look, there’s Jesus with more tricks up his sleeve” but rather, “It’s a ghost!” They cry out in fear, and Jesus is quick to assure them of his presence – “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.”
“It is I” Jesus says. I know you’re afraid, exhausted, and far from what’s steady and familiar, but have courage – I’m here! Sometimes, this is enough to reassure us. Sometimes, knowing that we’re not alone in the midst of uncertainty and disruption and fear really does calm and steady us.
Other times, though, we’re like Peter. Doubting God’s proclamation, demanding proof, testing. Trying to be like God and failing, miserably. Paralyzed by fear.
And yet, how often we read this story with our focus on Peter. Look at him, taking a risk and stepping out in faith, we think to ourselves. He was doing so well! He just lost focus! Here’s what we take from this interpretation - if you just keep your eyes on Jesus, you’ll be able to do the impossible.
I’m not so sure that’s helpful reading of this story. If we’ve been paying attention to Peter in the gospels, we notice that he’s often an example of what not to do – a little too impetuous, speaking before he thinks, so often missing the point. When Jesus says, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” it seems much more likely that what Peter doubted was not his own ability to do the impossible and walk on water, but rather Jesus’ self-revelation – “It is I.”
This is an important distinction. Why? Because “If you just keep your eyes on Jesus, you’ll be able to do the impossible” is not good news. It’s not! If salvation depends on my ability to be like God, or even my ability to keep my eyes on Jesus, then I’m sunk! Distractions, fear, selfishness, and sin will always send me careening off course from any attempts I make to earn my own way to salvation.
Instead, the good news is found in the promise that God is with us in the midst of chaos, uncertainty, and fear. When we are sinking and helpless, when we cannot save ourselves, when we cry out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus reaches out and pulls us up. We don’t need to walk on water to get to God. Instead, God always comes to us.
It seems noteworthy in the story that when Jesus catches Peter and hauls him up out of the water, they don’t end up on land, miraculously whisked away to solid ground. Instead, they get into the boat. Yes, the wind ceases, but they’re still out in the middle of the lake, still vulnerable to the elements, still rocked by the waves. In the boat together, gathered around Jesus’ saving presence, the disciples worship him – “Truly you are the Son of God.”
From the beginnings of Christianity, boats have been a symbol for the Church. In the midst of the chaos and danger of the waves and world around us, we are gathered by Christ into a vessel that can navigate these waters. Working together as one body with many members, we hoist the sails and bail water and turn the rudder, journeying where the winds of the Holy Spirit send us.
The waters we are navigating these days are uncharted and stormy, but God’s promises are the same. In times of anxiety and fear, when we are drowning and unable to save ourselves, we cry out for rescue and God comes to us. In times of separation and uncertainty, removed from our usual worship practices and apart from each other, we are still members of the Body of Christ – held together by the God who claimed us in the waters of baptism. In the midst of the storms of life, we experience Jesus’ saving presence and together, as the Church, worship the one who truly is the Son of God.
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