My friend’s mom did not grow up in the church, so most of what her mother knew about the Christmas story was from songs on the radio and movies. Because of this, and specifically the one song, “the Virgin Mary had a baby boy,” she whole-heartedly believed through at least one Christmas season that the male figure next to Mary and the baby Jesus in every nativity was named “Virg” - because Virg and Mary had a baby boy.
While Joseph may not get top billing in Christmas hymns or movies, or even in the Gospel of Luke’s familiar story, here in Matthew’s Gospel, it is none other than Joseph who commands our attention.
As we breeze through this story that we think we know so well, I wonder if we fully appreciate the gravity of this revelation that Mary was found to be with child before she and Joseph lived together. In the ancient world, betrothal or engagement was equivalent to marriage. To be found unfaithful amounted to adultery - marital infidelity.
When Joseph finds out that Mary is pregnant and knows the baby isn’t his, this is the only logical explanation - that Mary has been unfaithful. Can you imagine the flood of emotions Joseph felt?
Anger at being betrayed;
Embarrassment that others will call him a fool;
Heartache at this loss;
Shock that the woman he thought he knew, the woman he was to marry,
was something - someone unfamiliar;
A sense of upheaval that the life he had planned was gone;
Caught by surprise, waylaid by the unexpected - what is Joseph to do?
Of course the real explanation was not at all logical, and quite unexpected. But even before he knew the truth, even with all the feelings and emotions coursing through Joseph, one was the winner: love.
The law was not kind to women caught in adultery. And Joseph, despite his anger and heartache and confusion, loved Mary enough to be decent and compassionate. So, though he had to dismiss her, he resolved to do so quietly, to protect her from the full weight of the public’s ridicule and disgrace.
But then, in a dream, an angel appears to Joseph and lays everything out: Mary has not been unfaithful; rather, the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. And certainly this is no ordinary baby, but one who comes from God and is indeed “God with us”; one whose coming will fulfill the words spoken by the prophet; one who will save the people from their sins. And Joseph? Joseph is to be his father. Joseph will claim Jesus as his own by giving him a name, and, in so doing, will bestow his Davidic lineage on him as well.
Can you imagine the flood of emotions Joseph felt?
Bewilderment at the angel’s message;
Relief that Mary had remained faithful, and joy that she is still the same
Mary he knows and loves;
Anxiety as he wonders what it will be like to parent a child who fulfills the
words spoken by prophets and saves the people from their sins;
Caught by surprise, waylaid by the unexpected - what is Joseph to do?
I wonder if you can think of a time when you were caught by surprise and waylaid by the unexpected. I wonder if you can feel in your body the memory of that flood of emotions.
In those times, it is difficult to know which end is up, let alone to decide how to move forward in a thoughtful and calm manner. When we are overwhelmed and stressed and confused, our brain is not at its best. In the most heartwrenching experiences of the unexpected, it is not uncommon to feel adrift, alone, and abandoned - by our friends and loved ones, and even by God.
Holidays are especially difficult times to be caught by surprise. Holidays are especially difficult times to feel stuck after being waylaid by the unexpected. A death, a diagnosis, a breakup; illness, job loss, expenses that were definitely not part of the budget. There’s so much pressure to at least pretend that everything is normal, and not just normal, but perfectly curated and laid out. So little opportunity to express our anguish, grief, or anxiety. What are we to do?
Often, it is in the midst of the surprising and unexpected and heartwrenching that we are able to see God at work. Not making things better; not fixing things or taking away the pain of the moment - but reminding us that we’re not alone.
Perhaps we see God at work in the friend who stops by to bring a meal or just sit and listen. Perhaps we see God at work in giving us the strength to stop pretending that everything’s fine. Perhaps we see God at work in comforting and familiar songs in worship, in a story of love that wraps around us like a warm blanket, and in a simple meal of bread and wine and the words that Jesus is for you - now and always.
Just as they were for Joseph, the angel’s words are for us, too - do not be afraid. Why? Not because God promises a clear and trouble-free way forward, but because just as often it is God’s love and grace that is the surprising and unexpected thing breaking into our lives. Amid the changes and difficulties, the joys and sorrows of life, God is with us.
While Joseph may not get top billing in Christmas hymns or movies, or even in the Gospel of Luke’s familiar story, here in Matthew’s Gospel, it is none other than Joseph who commands our attention.
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| Photo by Walter Chávez on Unsplash |
When Joseph finds out that Mary is pregnant and knows the baby isn’t his, this is the only logical explanation - that Mary has been unfaithful. Can you imagine the flood of emotions Joseph felt?
Anger at being betrayed;
Embarrassment that others will call him a fool;
Heartache at this loss;
Shock that the woman he thought he knew, the woman he was to marry,
was something - someone unfamiliar;
A sense of upheaval that the life he had planned was gone;
Caught by surprise, waylaid by the unexpected - what is Joseph to do?
Of course the real explanation was not at all logical, and quite unexpected. But even before he knew the truth, even with all the feelings and emotions coursing through Joseph, one was the winner: love.
The law was not kind to women caught in adultery. And Joseph, despite his anger and heartache and confusion, loved Mary enough to be decent and compassionate. So, though he had to dismiss her, he resolved to do so quietly, to protect her from the full weight of the public’s ridicule and disgrace.
But then, in a dream, an angel appears to Joseph and lays everything out: Mary has not been unfaithful; rather, the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. And certainly this is no ordinary baby, but one who comes from God and is indeed “God with us”; one whose coming will fulfill the words spoken by the prophet; one who will save the people from their sins. And Joseph? Joseph is to be his father. Joseph will claim Jesus as his own by giving him a name, and, in so doing, will bestow his Davidic lineage on him as well.
Can you imagine the flood of emotions Joseph felt?
Bewilderment at the angel’s message;
Relief that Mary had remained faithful, and joy that she is still the same
Mary he knows and loves;
Anxiety as he wonders what it will be like to parent a child who fulfills the
words spoken by prophets and saves the people from their sins;
Caught by surprise, waylaid by the unexpected - what is Joseph to do?
I wonder if you can think of a time when you were caught by surprise and waylaid by the unexpected. I wonder if you can feel in your body the memory of that flood of emotions.
In those times, it is difficult to know which end is up, let alone to decide how to move forward in a thoughtful and calm manner. When we are overwhelmed and stressed and confused, our brain is not at its best. In the most heartwrenching experiences of the unexpected, it is not uncommon to feel adrift, alone, and abandoned - by our friends and loved ones, and even by God.
Holidays are especially difficult times to be caught by surprise. Holidays are especially difficult times to feel stuck after being waylaid by the unexpected. A death, a diagnosis, a breakup; illness, job loss, expenses that were definitely not part of the budget. There’s so much pressure to at least pretend that everything is normal, and not just normal, but perfectly curated and laid out. So little opportunity to express our anguish, grief, or anxiety. What are we to do?
Often, it is in the midst of the surprising and unexpected and heartwrenching that we are able to see God at work. Not making things better; not fixing things or taking away the pain of the moment - but reminding us that we’re not alone.
Perhaps we see God at work in the friend who stops by to bring a meal or just sit and listen. Perhaps we see God at work in giving us the strength to stop pretending that everything’s fine. Perhaps we see God at work in comforting and familiar songs in worship, in a story of love that wraps around us like a warm blanket, and in a simple meal of bread and wine and the words that Jesus is for you - now and always.
Just as they were for Joseph, the angel’s words are for us, too - do not be afraid. Why? Not because God promises a clear and trouble-free way forward, but because just as often it is God’s love and grace that is the surprising and unexpected thing breaking into our lives. Amid the changes and difficulties, the joys and sorrows of life, God is with us.
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