This sermon was preached on October 6 & 7, 2018 at Trinity Lutheran Church in Connellsville, Pennsylvania, using Mark 10:2-16.
As they do many times in the Gospels, today’s reading finds the Pharisees approaching Jesus with a tricky question which has no good answer: “Is it lawful,” they ask, “for a husband to divorce his wife?”
While it may be the case that the Pharisees’ concern is more about tripping up Jesus and less about the answer to this question, many of us have a lot at stake in the answer. Perhaps you have been divorced, or are thinking about divorce. At the very least, you know someone who has been through the pain and difficulty of divorce - a parent, a child, a sibling, or a friend.
As with many other things, the Church has caused harm and has alienated hurting people through our interpretations and teaching on divorce. Too often, Christians have urged women to stay in abusive marriages, have shunned those going through divorce, or have altogether avoiding saying anything about the realities of sex, marriage, and divorce - all to our collective detriment.
So, what does Jesus say in response to the Pharisees? Well, he begins by letting them know that he knows that they’re trying to trap him. Why are you asking me? Jesus says. Moses gave you an answer on this long ago!
The Pharisees dutifully recite from Deuteronomy 24 that Moses tells the people that a man could, with good reason and not frivolously, write a certificate of dismissal and divorce his wife.
But Jesus reminds them that just because something is lawful doesn’t mean that it’s what God intends. Divorce is necessary because of the brokenness and sin present in our world, not because it is God’s intention for us and our relationships. What is God’s intention for relationships? To answer this, Jesus steers the conversation toward a conversation about marriage.
We were created to be in relationship - relationship with God and relationship with one another. Of course, marriage is not for everyone. People who are married are not better or more fulfilled than people who are not. But whether it is in the covenant of marriage or through friendships, family, and other relationships, we need one another. It is not good for us to be isolated or alone.
Our ELCA marriage liturgy introduces marriage in this way: Standing with the couple in front of the gathered congregation, the pastor says, “Name and name have come to make their marriage vows in the presence of God and of this assembly. The uniting of these people in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy, for the help and comfort they give one another in prosperity and adversity, and that their love may be a blessing to all whom they encounter.
“Let us now witness their promises to each other and surround them with our prayers, giving thanks to God for the gift of marriage and asking God’s blessing upon them, that they may be strengthened for their life together and nurtured in the love of God.”
God intends joy for us. God intends help, comfort, and support. God intends for us to know the power of love. And, when marriage is at its best, it is a home for all of these things.
As we know, however, so much of what happens in the world is not what God intends. We confess at least weekly that we are in bondage to sin and cannot free ourselves. One place that sin and brokenness can be so apparent is in our relationships. People are selfish. We say and do things that hurt one another, often times on purpose! We lie, and cheat, and gossip. Instead of cherishing and caring for one another, we actively do harm and have no regard for the feelings and experiences of others.
This happens in relationships of all kinds, but it is especially painful when it happens within the bounds of marriage precisely because of the depth of this bond. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” It is painful and leaves a scar when what had been one flesh, joined together by God, is split in two.
Marriage is difficult. It takes work, and a commitment to hold on tight through mountains and valleys, joys and anguish. But sometimes our grip just isn’t strong enough and despite our best efforts we let go. And other times we let go on purpose, because the marriage has become the exact opposite of what God intends - death-dealing instead of life-giving, pain instead of pleasure, despair instead of joy.
Whatever the reason, divorce is never without pain and heartache, even when it’s the exact right thing to do. God never desires pain, sin, or brokenness for us, and so God wishes mightily that divorce, and adultery, and abuse, and hunger, and corruption, and disease, and anything else that causes us pain were not present in our lives. But we are in bondage to sin and cannot free ourselves. Things are not as God intends. Sin is a reality of the human experience.
But! Precisely because sin is a reality of the human experience, God put on flesh to dwell with us in the person of Jesus so that grace, and mercy, and forgiveness would also be a reality of the human experience. We need grace. We are lost without it.
Grace and mercy and forgiveness are what begin to bind up our wounds and painful places. Grace and mercy and forgiveness are what have the power to restore us to right relationship with God and with one another. Grace and mercy and forgiveness are the balm when the brokenness and sin of this life are relentless and we can barely catch our breath.
Just as Jesus welcomes and blesses the children, so too does Jesus welcome and bless us when we are helpless, vulnerable, and cast aside. The Kingdom of God is the promised future for us, and we wait with eager longing for that day when pain, sin, and brokenness are no more. But for now, we give thanks for a God who clings tightly to us in the midst of our pain and weeps with us, a God who blesses us with the gift of one another, and a God whose love and faithfulness have no end. Amen.
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