A blog I've been following for almost a year now is Glennon Melton's "Momastery." The title is a play on the word "monastery" - here's her description of it:
"This blog’s name emerged from the idea that Motherhood is like a monastery … it’s a sacred place, apart from the world, where a seeker can figure out what matters and catch glimpses of God. It’s also like being pecked to death by merciless chickens. Often, while I am being mercilessly pecked, I dream of running away and joining a silent order of monks. Hence – Momastery."
Anyway, she's hilarious, but that's not why I've kept reading. The reason I am so drawn in is that Glennon is refreshingly honest about the really rough parts of life, and also delightfully attentive to the joy and grace in the midst of the roughness. Please, please, read more of her stuff! She preaches (in a good way)!
Glennon's choice for authenticity and honesty was challenged recently and I appreciated her response, and also thought back to our class discussions earlier in the week about a) Luther's description of a "theologian of the cross" in his Heidelberg Disputation, and b) the value placed on authenticity in social media. So. Bear with me as I try to weave all of this together.
In this post, titled "5 ways to secure your happyish ever after," Glennon answered a question posed to her by another blogger - "What do you believe about marriage?" She talks about the difficult parts, and the terrible parts, and also the rewarding parts. All in all, it comes off as a balanced, honest, authentic response.
Someone else didn't think so, though, and sent a comment/email pointing out that Glennon has this really wide-reaching platform, and lots of dedicated readers, and is it really right to focus so much on the negative parts of marriage. And Glennon's response was charitable, and you should just read the whole thing, but basically she points out that life is BOTH messy AND beautiful, all wrapped up together.
My first thought, always, when hearing that we need to be happy all the time, or not dwell on the negative, or not be angry at God, is since when?! Who first had the idea that Christians, especially, ought to value nice feelings above honesty and authenticity?
Do we really want people to think marriage should look like a fairy tale? What happens when, inevitably, it's not?
And, to take things a little further, do we really want people to think that things always work out for Christians, that life should be happy and perfect if you're doing it right? What happens when, inevitably, it's not?
What about our God who has experienced suffering? What about our God who has experienced anger, grief, betrayal, death? What about our God who identifies with the poor and suffering, who promises to be present, and not only when things are going well?
Luther's definition of a theologian of the cross is a person who "calls a thing what it is," and is opposed to a theologian of glory, who "calls evil good and good evil." Part of honesty and authenticity is precisely this - naming our brokenness and sin, acknowledging the ways we, and our relationships, fall short, and rejoicing in the grace and mercy of a God who loves us and claims us as beloved children anyway.
This authenticity is so, so crucial in all of our relationships, including our presence on social media. In Click 2 Save: The Digital Ministry Bible, Elizabeth Drescher and Keith Anderson say, "There are two essential elements to successful personal digital ministry: presence and voice. Our presence as digital ministers should be compassionate, engaged, inspiring, accessible, and informative, but above all it must be real" (Kindle loc. 525).
I would argue that this is true not just for digital ministers. To be most faithful as Christians, to most fully represent what it is to be at the same time saint and sinner, we must be real, honest, and authentic - both about our brokenness and utter dependence on God, and about God's faithful coming to us in the midst of our brokenness.
What do you think? Does social media help us tell the truth about ourselves and about God? Or does it compel us even more to show only the pretty parts? What's the risk, either way?
I used to be very involved online before I went back to school (what a coincidence, huh?). I had blogs and was on some forums, including doing some moderating (fora? forae? forays? Never took Latin).
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your questions, for some of us it is easier to tell the truth about ourselves and about God in writing. I suspect this is especially true for introverts. I could and did say riskier things in writing than in person, where conversations moved too fast for me to think out what I wanted to say.
The drawback with telling the truth about ourselves and about God through social media is that it is done through writing, and so what can be said in person at a kitchen table gets softened with facial expressions, vocal tones, touching someone. With writing, you lose all that. Writing automatically makes things come out more harshly than they would in person.
That's no reason not to do it, though -- it is still incredibly valuable and can be a powerful means to reach people. It's just something to be aware of.
And of course, any time you tell the truth, you will get blowback, because the truth is almost never pretty or socially acceptable.
GREAT blog, Kerri! I hope this is not your last foray (forum? fora?) into digital ministry.
Amen.
ReplyDeleteOh, by the way, I had to re-edit my profile. The above comment is from Anna, not 'unknown.' I know me, I know me! Sort of.
ReplyDeleteKerri,
ReplyDeleteYou raise a great question. I've periodically read the Momestary blog too, good stuff. And you are right - authenticity and honesty are central to Christian witness.
Here's the dissonance for me though: much of what we read/post/blog/comment on social media lacks something. It may be honest; it may be authentic; it may give person voice where typically they have none. But social media lacks anything personal or vulnerable most of the time. Rather than create connection of relationship, it's about garnering affirmation for an ideology one holds.
For me, that's what makes authenticity and honesty "Christ-like;" it draws us into relationship with another, to feel empathy and engagement, rather than the need to agree and affirm what's been said. My benchmark: "Wow....that made me feel something." rather than, "Wow, I really agree with you on that point (which usually follows with a slam on the opposing view)."
The challenge: Can our activity on social media as ministry begin this turn towards relationship? I don't know.
Nice blog post! I think to often we are so ashamed of our brokenness we try to hide it instead of just accepting who we are broken and all, and being comfortable enough with it to let others see us as we truly are broken people beloved by God.
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely 'preaching to the choir' on this one as you know I'm all about being authentic in social media (to a point). And I love this concept of showing marriage, and our relationship with God, for all its realness - it can be messy and beautiful. All that 'love is patient, love is kind' stuff is great, but it's also a whole bunch of stuff that's not so pretty. To love means you're gonna get hurt. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMeriam-Webster's definition of "authentic" is "true to one's own personality, spirit, or character." It does seem that people are craving "authenticity" in a variety of arenas ---political and corporate life, institutions (the call for "transparency"), family life, and on-line. I don't know whether social media helps people to tell the truth about themselves, but I do know that what is posted on social media "lives forever." There is a Harvard Business Review case study entitled "We Googled You" that I encourage everyone to read. This is the link to it: http://www.vital.co.kr/harvard/hmmplus/hmm11_kr_quickpath/hiring/base/resources/WeGoogledYou.pdf
ReplyDeleteAfter the case study is presented, four experts provide commentary on it. One interesting quote in the case study is from the CEO who has been informed that potentially damaging material was found in a Google search for a prospective employee he is considering. The CEO responds, What am I supposed to do? With everyone's sins out there on the Internet, fewer and fewer young people are coming to us without baggage."
I feel social media is a huge amplifier of all manner of things... for us to not be conscious of that poses a risk to us.